How To Reduce Stress (Part 2)

stress

I watched an Olivier Roland’s video  and I learned good stuff.

If you didn’t read Part 1, click here

3rd step – organize yourself and communicate

organize yourself

 

Organize

Managing your schedule helps limit stress and to do that, here’s what you can do :

  • Prevent an additional 10 to 20 minutes on your travel times.

  • Make a list of priority tasks to do and not to do.

  • Identify bad habits, tasks to eliminate and tasks to delegate.

  • Automatize a maximum of tasks.

  • Focus on taks that immediately bring visible results

  • Avoid to scatter you.

  • Stop these time consuming habits like reading your emails as soon as they arrive of watching your smartphone as soon as there is a notification. Tamagochi  is a toy, not a lifestyle.

  • Do things in their time. Each task, even minimum, must be completed before moving on the next one. This method allows you to improve your concentration and the satisfaction of having completed a task is very motivating.

  • Pause during the day and cultivate your patience. In a situation where you have to wait, take the time to relax instead of sighing and complaining. For example in a queue for a counter, use that : Wait = relax and breathe deeply. Concentrate on yourself in a positive way and on the present moment.

Communicate

  • Stress is often born from the fact that we don’t know what our interlocutors expect from us. We can’t read people’s minds, so don’t hesitate to ask clearly what people expect of you. Dare to ask questions and create a direct communication. Banish your ego and think that you aren’t absolutely right. You can also avoid sensitive topics.

  • Say « no ». If you can’t render a service someone asks you because you have no time or no resources or you don’t want to take additional responsibilities, then explain that to your interlocutor. Your interlocutors will understand the situation and you will find an arrangement. It’s better to say « no » from the start than to force yourself to keep your commitments. With this attitude, you will avoid being overwhelmed.

4th step – turn away or adapt and accept

 

turn away

 

accept

 

  • Avoid the trigger elements of stress. Limit your contact with people who stress you. Be aware of your environment and control that. For example, use an alternative road to avoid traffic jams. Turn off TV to avoid listening to information that makes you anxious. If you did the analysis of 20% of sources that bring you 80% your stress, you know the people that you must see the minimum or eliminate them from your contacts.

  • Adjust yourself by being willing to compromise. Be assertive by adapting your requirements and avoiding perfectionism.

  • Reframe conflicts by analyzing the problem in a positive way. Look at good things and find benefits of the situation. Focus on positive elements.

  • Accept the trigger of stress and admit that you can’t control everything.

  • Looking for opportunities to improve yourself. Concentrate on what this stressful situation can teach you. Follow the principle of this quote : « What doesn’t kill you , make you stronger » and ask yourself these questions : « How can I get better with this experience ? What did I learn ? ».

  • Forgive. Accept that others make mistakes (because you also make mistakes) and try to evacuate any feeling of anger. When you free yourself from all this negative energy, it’s easy to resume your projects.

In summary « The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another » as William James said.

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-Steph

How To Reduce Stress (Part 1)

stress

I watched an Olivier Roland’s video  and I learned good stuff.

I am doing a synthesis of the Dale Carnegie’s book “How to stop worrying and start living”  and other sources on internet for a blueprint to manages stress in 4 steps.

Stress is about change, it means adapting to the environment of a changing structure. Stress is a feeling triggered by the interpretation of an event. It’s a reaction related to the constraints and the pressure undergone in its environment. Stress can be interpreted as something positive, whether it’s considered a challenge or as something negative, if it’s considered a harmful event.

The truth is that stress is a mistake of reasoning in relation to the attitude or behavior we adopt. This is an answer that isn’t adequate. It’s an alert for mental dysfunction as the body gives us an alert for physical pain. Fortunately, people can learn to control stress in 4 steps : Take a step back and analyze what triggered the stress ; anticipate and visualize ; organize yourself and communicate and turn away or adapt and accept.

1st step – Take a step back and analyze

 

keep calm stress

 

It’s necessary to step back and analyze what triggered the stress. Because before trying to solve that, it’s important to know what caused it. By analyzing what caused the stress, we can avoid certain consequences.

To do that, here’s what you can do :

  • Make a list of sources of annoyance that you have in your family, friends, school, work, transportation, etc. Once you have found them, classify them from the most impacting to the least impacting. You can also do a 20/80 analysis, that means identify the 20% of the sources that bring you 80% of your stress.

  • Ask yourself these questions : « What is the problem ? What is the cause of this stress in these sources ? What are the most serious consequences that I suffer of my experience ? »

  • Understand the emotion that created in these moments. Then check if it’s a real fear or rather a theoretical concern that doesn’t have much to happen in your life.

If a situation is truly unavoidable, you need to prepare yourself to accept it. We must give up the impossible because it’s extremely stressful to have no way to change a situation. To avoid this, you need to anticipate situations that may lead you into an impasse. Once these situations identified, you must try to really avoid them or change the course of things from the start.

It’s impossible to keep control of all things in your life. It’s useless to set inaccessible goals.

2nd step – anticipate and visualize

 

anticipate visualize telescope

 

 

The best way to handle stress is to anticipate. Based on the list you made in the first step (source of stress), imagine solutions and possible answers. Ask yourself these questions : « Why did you agree to be in this situation ? ». If what you do make sense, it limits the stress.

Decide how you want to live a situation. An event that happens to you can have not effect on you until you choose words to qualify it. If you say that an event is happy, boring, sad or extraordinary, it can become so. By qualifying the event, you modify the perception that you have of this event.

The way you see the event determines your body’s reaction. So take a moment to think before judging and classyfying a situation as negative.

Take Olivier Roland’s example. When Olivier Roland began to meditate, his neighbor’s dog was barking. At first it disturbed Olivier to focus on his breathing, it was stressful and annoying. After a while, Olivier realized that it wasn’t the barking dog that was stressful, it was Olivier’s interpretation of the situation. From the moment that Olivier decided that the barking dog was something neutral or positive, he began to appreciate when the dog barks. It’s a sign of life.

Imagination can be used to help fight stress. Get in shape before a stressful event. You can create a positive state of mind when an event is negative. Think of something positive like music, a holiday, projects in progress. Visualize a happy moment, a happy memory.

This the end of Part 1. In the 2nd Part, I talk about organize yourself and communicate and turn away or adapt and accept.

Share this article if you think it can help someone you know. Thank you.

-Steph