Emotionally Manage Negative Reviews

emotionally, manage, negative reviews, excellent, good, average, poor, worst

What’s up ? This is THE stephane ANDRE !!! I watched an Olivier Roland’s video and I learned some good stuff.

When we have company, we read customer reviews to improve the products/services. But we have a way of thinking that can hinder the company’s evolution. Here is an example, for a product the are 10 positive reviews and 1 negative review. The problem is that the entrepreneurs will think 1000 times more about the negative review rather than 10 reviews positive.

Bad comment

emotionally, manage, negative reviews

To change this way of thinkging, it’s necessary to understand that this is part of human nature. We have been educated by evolution to focus more on negative things than positive things. And yes, our ancestors lived in an unstable environment during the vast majority of the existence of the human being. Here are some examples :

  1. Our ancestors were very attentive to the elements that were partially negative. They could be very happy, have a great day but they had to pay attention to the powerful animals that could, by surprise, kill them.
  2. Our ancestors had to pay attention to the disputes that had in the village because these disputes could deteriorate the village’s stability. This can result in creating friction that undermines trust in terms of collaboration for survival.
  3. Our ancestors were never satisfied with their situation and this motivated them to improve their lifestyle through science.

Solution

emotionally, manage, negative reviews, positive

As you’ve seen, this is a way of thinking that we have in human nature and there are some tips to avoid being obsessed with these negative reviews. I propose 3 solutions :

  • Ignore them. The more negative reviews you see, the more you’ll be desensitized to that. It’s not very complicated because if your company is working well, you have few negative reviews.
  • Delegate the management of reviews to a member in your company. This allows you to avoid being on the front line in the emotional impact to be less affected. It’s true, this solution have a problem. It creates distance between the entrepreneur and the customers feedbacks. It’s for this reason that it’s recommended to set up a procedure for the member who handles the reviews saying : « From now on, it’s you who manages the reviews. The thing I would like you to do is that you only transfer negative constructive reviews to me ». Negative constructive reviews are the criticisms where you see the urge to help.
  • Create an email address only for positive reviews. For example, you can name this email : « positivereviews@yourCompanyName.com » and tell to the person who manages the reviews that each time he/she receive a positive reviews, he/she send it to this email. You can also tell to this person to make a screenshot of a positive review from social media and send it to this email.

With this email address, you create the email of happiness. This will be useful for moments of demotivation and doubt. If, for example, there is an negative reviews that makes you feel bad and you think about it several hours later, you can log on this email, read positive reviews and realize that you’re doing a good job. It’s really a special feeling to know that you’re changing the lives of many people. It’s really fantastic and it allows you to relativize.

It’s possible to make a combination of the 3 solutions. It means, you force yourself to read the negative reviews to desensitize you ; you delelgate part of the process to manage the reviews ; you create a magical email as a psychological support.

These solutions allow you to put things in their place so that you don’t get overwhelmed by negative emotions.

It’s possible that you know of other methods to handle negative reviews, if it’s true, share your method with us in the comments section.

Subscribe to my newsletter and share this article if you think it can help someone you know. Thank you.

-Steph

P.S. If you’re in Miami and you like Caribbean food, go to my cousin’s bistro to eat Haitian food, click here.

Become Insensitive To Haters

hater

What’s up ? This is THE stephane ANDRE !!! I watched an Olivier Roland’s video  and I learned some good stuff.

To be successful, it’s really necessary to have the ability to ignore haters, especially on internet.

Beginners are unaware of the emotional impact that haters can create and it can also scare people who want to start their company online. When you develop your internet presence, avoid haters is impossible.

Hater

A hater is a person who feels the irresistible urge to send you a message by email, comment or tweet to tell you :

  • You’re the stupidest and ugliest person in the world

  • Your content is the most insignificant thing since the creation of the planet earth

  • That he/she hopes that you don’t make children to not spread the evil on the planet earth and that you die quickly

These 3 things are what say haters in general.

The truth is, you can’t avoid that. Select one of your favorite artists, athletes or actors, check out one of his/her video on Youtube and read the comments. You can see the quality’s level of comments and it makes people lose faith in humanity. And it’s not just haters, there are also people who tell a lot of bullshit and insult each other.

A hater is a person who is bored and has no purpose in life, so that person is trying to create trouble in your community and psychologically impact you in a negative way. Fortunately on social media, it’s possible to ban haters.

Don’t be afraid

don't be afraid

I know many people who want to create a blog, a podcast or a Youtube channel but they’re afraid of having a bad buzz. I know a medical student who wants to create something to help students who are in 1st year of medical school but he still doesn’t do anything. This is the same situation as people who never drive because they are afraid of an accident or people who never take a plane.

It’s important to understand :

  • It’s extremely unlikely

  • Even if you have a bad buzz, you’ll survive

  • In any case, you will build a community that will support you.

When you look at the biggest bad buzz in history, it’s rare to see that the sales falls caused the bankruptcy of the company (or maybe you know a case I don’t know). Sometimes there are people who have been a bit traumatized by a bad buzz but in the majority of cases, there is little damage.

The best revenge you can have for haters is to have a good life. To be afraid of the haters that make you afraid to act, that you’re paralyzing, it’s showing to the world that it’s you who are leaving intimidated by something that is very unlikely to happen.

Keyboard warrior

keyboard type

Haters are also called « Keyboard warrior » because generally haters allow themselves to make type of criticism about people on internet but they are unable to do in real life, face to face. They’re comfortable behind their keyboard because they suffer no consequence.

So don’t be intimidated by the keyboard warriors and what I recommend you to do, it’s to keep a bottle of champagne to celebrate your first hater. It’s important to know that having haters is a necessary step in your success. Having your first hater is a sign that you’re on the right track because you’re disturbing someone.

keyboard warrior

Constructive criticism

Among this ton of negative comments (95%), there are also critics who can help you improve. To identify these critics, you must ask yourself this question : « What is the intention of this criticism ? Do I feel that the person wants to help me ? ».

If you feel that the criticism of the person is to help you, you can analyze the criticism and see if you can do something that interest you. If not, you can ban the person. Unfortunately, you’ll see that the majority of critics are not made to help you.

Remember that about haters :

  1. They’re inevitable

  2. They’re a sign of your success. Everyone has haters, even the people you admire the most

  3. They’re keyboard warriors. They say things that he/she doesn’t allow himself/herself to say in real life, face to face.

  4. Keep a bottle of champagne for the day you’ll have yor first hater

  5. To identify constructive criticism, ask yourself this question : « Is there a positive intention in this criticism to improve myself ? ».

Subscribe to my newsletters and share this article if you think it can help someone you know.

-Steph

How To Reduce Stress (Part 1)

stress

I watched an Olivier Roland’s video  and I learned good stuff.

I am doing a synthesis of the Dale Carnegie’s book “How to stop worrying and start living”  and other sources on internet for a blueprint to manages stress in 4 steps.

Stress is about change, it means adapting to the environment of a changing structure. Stress is a feeling triggered by the interpretation of an event. It’s a reaction related to the constraints and the pressure undergone in its environment. Stress can be interpreted as something positive, whether it’s considered a challenge or as something negative, if it’s considered a harmful event.

The truth is that stress is a mistake of reasoning in relation to the attitude or behavior we adopt. This is an answer that isn’t adequate. It’s an alert for mental dysfunction as the body gives us an alert for physical pain. Fortunately, people can learn to control stress in 4 steps : Take a step back and analyze what triggered the stress ; anticipate and visualize ; organize yourself and communicate and turn away or adapt and accept.

1st step – Take a step back and analyze

 

keep calm stress

 

It’s necessary to step back and analyze what triggered the stress. Because before trying to solve that, it’s important to know what caused it. By analyzing what caused the stress, we can avoid certain consequences.

To do that, here’s what you can do :

  • Make a list of sources of annoyance that you have in your family, friends, school, work, transportation, etc. Once you have found them, classify them from the most impacting to the least impacting. You can also do a 20/80 analysis, that means identify the 20% of the sources that bring you 80% of your stress.

  • Ask yourself these questions : « What is the problem ? What is the cause of this stress in these sources ? What are the most serious consequences that I suffer of my experience ? »

  • Understand the emotion that created in these moments. Then check if it’s a real fear or rather a theoretical concern that doesn’t have much to happen in your life.

If a situation is truly unavoidable, you need to prepare yourself to accept it. We must give up the impossible because it’s extremely stressful to have no way to change a situation. To avoid this, you need to anticipate situations that may lead you into an impasse. Once these situations identified, you must try to really avoid them or change the course of things from the start.

It’s impossible to keep control of all things in your life. It’s useless to set inaccessible goals.

2nd step – anticipate and visualize

 

anticipate visualize telescope

 

 

The best way to handle stress is to anticipate. Based on the list you made in the first step (source of stress), imagine solutions and possible answers. Ask yourself these questions : « Why did you agree to be in this situation ? ». If what you do make sense, it limits the stress.

Decide how you want to live a situation. An event that happens to you can have not effect on you until you choose words to qualify it. If you say that an event is happy, boring, sad or extraordinary, it can become so. By qualifying the event, you modify the perception that you have of this event.

The way you see the event determines your body’s reaction. So take a moment to think before judging and classyfying a situation as negative.

Take Olivier Roland’s example. When Olivier Roland began to meditate, his neighbor’s dog was barking. At first it disturbed Olivier to focus on his breathing, it was stressful and annoying. After a while, Olivier realized that it wasn’t the barking dog that was stressful, it was Olivier’s interpretation of the situation. From the moment that Olivier decided that the barking dog was something neutral or positive, he began to appreciate when the dog barks. It’s a sign of life.

Imagination can be used to help fight stress. Get in shape before a stressful event. You can create a positive state of mind when an event is negative. Think of something positive like music, a holiday, projects in progress. Visualize a happy moment, a happy memory.

This the end of Part 1. In the 2nd Part, I talk about organize yourself and communicate and turn away or adapt and accept.

Share this article if you think it can help someone you know. Thank you.

-Steph

Non Constructive Criticism

non constructive criticism negative comment

I watched an Olivier Roland’s video  and I learned good stuff.

These are comments that published regularly on social media. What is the difference between non-constructive criticism and constructive criticism ? Ask yourself this question : « Does this criticism have the will to help me ? ». If you don’t feel the will to help you, it’s like 95% of critics, it’s someone who criticizes just to criticize. These non-constructive criticisms based on an extremely superficial analysis of your content.

These people read the first 5 lines of an article, listen to the first 2 minutes of a podcast, watch the 2 first minutes of a video or read only the title.

When you publish content on internet, you’ll have people who will afford advice on what you do when they haven’t taken time to really understand, to analyze what you mean. It’s known that in communication there is an huge loss of the message’s meaning between what you mean, what you say, what people hear, what people understand and what people remember.

There is also an important factor is that in all areas, beginners have an opinion on everything and they say it. Does this give them a false sense of competence on topics they don’t master ? Yes, it’s ego on my opinion.

To be honest, it has happend to me to comment on something that I didn’t take time to analyze deeply. I gave my opinion based on an extremely superficial analysis and we all have already do it. Just understand that this is a normal human behavior and that it’s not a problem.

Attention, it’s not necesssary to remove these comments because they will never disappear. The goal is to reach enough people who understand your message and practice your advice.

1000 real fans

1000 fans

To succeed on internet, you only need to have 1000 real fans. It means people who understand what you say, who agree with what you say, who like your content, who share and who buy your products. You can have 1 million people who hate you, if you have 1000 real fans, that’s enough.

Many people are afraid of negative comments and that’s a shame. Imagine yourself in 10 years. You talk to a person and you explain to him/her that 10 years ago, you had a blog, a podcast or a Youtube channel and that you stopped it because of a negative comment that touched you. Think about that, do you realize how ridiculous it is ? So continue to create content on internet.

Share this article if you think it can help someone you know.Thank you.

-Steph

Companies Need To Have A Blog

company blog

I watched an Olivier Roland’s video  about this subject and I share what I learned with you.

The idea is that all companies should publish content. All companies whether the local baker or the company that manages the nuclear power plant. All types of companies without exception.

Why ?

why

Publish things that really help people who are in the same domain as you. Help them to either reduce a problem or help them to achieve their goals. It’s true that for the nuclear power plant’s example, it’s a challenge but content could that explains advantages and disadvantages of nuclear power. The key is to give content that will teach something to your reader, information that they can use everyday.

With the bakder’s example, you can teach people how to make bread. It’s true that it is against intuitive because if people know how to make bread at home, they will no longer go to the baker.

But maybe not ! You’re going to teach people how to make bread, but they will not have time to do this everyday and the baker doesn’t sell only bread. The fact of really help them by giving good advice for one thing will increase your authority. This will improve the way they perceive you as an expert. This will increase your relationship with them and they will appreciate you more. The result is that they will come more often in your bakery and will be more receptive to offers that you make.

Case study

study case

Content is the way to have more clients and to have real fans.

Here is a real example with the blog « Bonne Gueule » (french blog)  which is a men’s fashion blog, created in 2007 by two students (part-time). At first it was a normal blog that published content and they sell content products like books and online training. A few years later, they were able to sell their own clothes. Today when we go on their blog, it’s still a blog with articles, content videos that help people but we can also order their clothes they have made.

When we go to the product page, we quickly see the difference between « Bonne Gueule »’s clothes and classic e-commerce clothing. There is a video that explains why clothes are manufactured in this way, recommendations to take care of clothes and advice to wear them with style. With this type of content, they go well beyond a traditional shop because they give really good advice on choosing clothes and dress well even if we don’t buy their clothes.

Now « Bonne Gueule » opened two shops: Paris and Lyon.

Content makes the difference in the perception that people have of you between the company that just wants to sell the maximum of products to make money and true leaders who help people to progress.

Ask to yourself: « what kind of content could interest my prospects and clients and can help me to create a community? ». There is an excellent book by Seth Godin « Tribes »  which explain why internet is a great tool to create tribes or communities. The reason is that people are buying less and less after seeing an advertisement but buy more and more after having an advice from a trusted person.

What types of content you have for your company or your business idea ?

-Steph

Your Life Reflects Your Thoughts

thoughts

If you have a real vision, a real dream, cultivates it, put it in your heart, in your mind, be obsessed with it. You are your thoughts. In your life, good things don’t happen because you’re a good person, it happens because you wanted in a conscious or unconscious way. Your life is a manifestation of your thoughts. When you’re obsessed, when you think only about that, you attract it in your life. When you think to be happy, you’re happy, test.

If your vision or your dream is a career in the fitness industry, be obsessed with it. Includes people in your dream, this is what I tell people who want to be part of my team : « Listen, if your vision or your dream doesn’t include helping others, your vision is too small. I’m not interested ». There are people who have a phenomenal physics, it’s the world class but all they do, it’s make selfies to show their abs and that’s not interests me.

I don’t want that new generations see these people and say this is what is being a man or a woman, show abs all day. It doesn’t mean anything, a homeless person can have abs. Abs aren’t a goal to have a healthy body but on Instagram people make believe anything.

toughts

People like Instagram with filters, everyone thinks it’s raw pictures. The person took the photo the day after the competition and displays it on Instagram 6 months later and when you see the person in real life, it’s not quite the same.

Be obsessed with your goals, your dreams to help people and not by something that makes you look cool. Everyone is beautiful, no one is more beautiful than another, it’s subjective and it’s not important. What you have in your head and in your heart, that’s what is really important. I’m a pessimistic person because sometimes I look people and I say : « Why are you doing this, tell him something to help ? ».

I guess when you think fitness industry, everything that’s inside is healthy but the truth is that in many ways it’s unhealthy, especially mentally. It’s like the guy’s story who a few days after the competition had taken diuretic for his rendez-vous with a girl (everytime I think back, I tell myself that it’s not possible), it’s sad.

Sometimes I drink Coke, beer, rum, I eat biscuits but I’m trying to eat healthy as much as possible. You never see me on Instragram with a huge pizza because I don’t want a person sees this photo and say : « Ah I also have a slow metabolism, I can do the same ». I want people to be responsible for contents they place. I do it as often as possible to give to people great information.

Be obsessed with your dreams and you attract them in your life

-Steph

Average Not Acceptable

mediocrity

Being average isn’t acceptable, it’s simple. I encourage people to pay attention to their ecosystem because you chose the lifestyle you want. It’s true, it’s sound cliché or corny but it’s the truth. If you’re in a group of people who doesn’t motivate you, who doesn’t motivate each other to improve, you will fall in a mediocrity circle. If you stay long in avergage, after a while, you begin to decline.

This is what is called a plateau in training. If you lift 20kg (44lbs) in your training each time and you keep that weight a long time , your body will get used and it will begin to decline.

Being in average will take you to mediocrity ! It’s something you don’t want, you want to stay motivated, you want to be around people who motivate you and you want to motivate others. When you’re afraid to do something, you want your friends motivate you and you want to motivate your friends when it happens. That’s how you grow and you become better.

mediocrity

Sometimes a person gives you good advice to help you to advance or help you to avoid to make a mistake. If you don’t apply the advice, it’s your story, you keep it in your head. That’s why you have to keep an open mind to accept advices from others. You must train yourself to have this state of mind to be open and go to places where you can get good advice. All things can be a tool that help you to move forward either a positive or negative situation.

When you are facing a difficulty, don’t be overwhelmed by your emotions too long because there is always something that can help you to overcome this difficulty. Don’t be afraid, be brave and if in your entourage nobody has this mindset, it’s better to be lonely until you find one.

In your life, you will meet many types of people but you don’t want to be surrounded by people who put you down, who are sadistic, who slow you down. You want people who motivate you, it’s a steady progress.

mediocrity

For me, life is something in constantly progress. I don’t mean that’s the definition of life, I don’t know what is the definition of life but it’s a point of view that I have and I apply it every day . I’m personally in progress in all areas of my life and it makes me happy.

I know some people is living difficult times and that’s why I like to motivate people because they can overcome these difficulties. Me too, people motivated me when I had hard times and it’s my turn to motivate others.

If I can motivate you a little, that’s cool but around you with people who motivates you. Avoid people who put you down, you don’t need them. Let me say to this kind of people « Fuck you ».

-Steph