Boost Your Charisma

charisma barack obama

What’s up ? This is THE stephane ANDRE ! I watched an Olivier Roland’s video  and I learned some good stuff.

To increase my charisma, I discovered a completely counterintuitive trick. This trick is a state of mind. This is a trick that Seth Godin shares in his book « Tribes » . In this book Seth Godin explains the importance of internet. Internet isn’t just about doing business with customers/prospects, but it’s a real tool for building a tribe or community.

The principles for building a tribe or community with internet are to share quality content and to clearly explain your values to bring together people who share the same values as you. Seth Godin says something very interesting about charisma, he says that most people think that yow have to have charisma to get the idea when it’s the opposite. The simple fact of having the idea gives charisma. It’s deep right ?

In everyday life

 

everyday

 

I’m sure you’ve seen this situation :

  • There is a person who loses consciousness on the sidewalk Quickly a person must take responsibility for the idea of caring for the person who has lost consciousness

  • There is a car accident. Quickly a person must take responsibility for the idea of dealing with traffic to secure the area.

In situation where there is no designated leader, a person must take the initiative, without permission, to take responsibility for the idea of managing the situation.

As you can see, it does give charisma to this person and the others will naturally accept him/her as a leader and listen his/her orders, until the situation returns to normal.

The question, I’m asking you is : « In the project that is important to you, could you take responsibility for the idea of taking care of your tribe or community that shares the same values as you and to do evolve the project ? ». Tell me your answer in the comments section.

Subscribe to my newsletter and share this article if you think it can help someone you know.

-Steph

How To Reduce Stress (Part 2)

stress

I watched an Olivier Roland’s video  and I learned good stuff.

If you didn’t read Part 1, click here

3rd step – organize yourself and communicate

organize yourself

 

Organize

Managing your schedule helps limit stress and to do that, here’s what you can do :

  • Prevent an additional 10 to 20 minutes on your travel times.

  • Make a list of priority tasks to do and not to do.

  • Identify bad habits, tasks to eliminate and tasks to delegate.

  • Automatize a maximum of tasks.

  • Focus on taks that immediately bring visible results

  • Avoid to scatter you.

  • Stop these time consuming habits like reading your emails as soon as they arrive of watching your smartphone as soon as there is a notification. Tamagochi  is a toy, not a lifestyle.

  • Do things in their time. Each task, even minimum, must be completed before moving on the next one. This method allows you to improve your concentration and the satisfaction of having completed a task is very motivating.

  • Pause during the day and cultivate your patience. In a situation where you have to wait, take the time to relax instead of sighing and complaining. For example in a queue for a counter, use that : Wait = relax and breathe deeply. Concentrate on yourself in a positive way and on the present moment.

Communicate

  • Stress is often born from the fact that we don’t know what our interlocutors expect from us. We can’t read people’s minds, so don’t hesitate to ask clearly what people expect of you. Dare to ask questions and create a direct communication. Banish your ego and think that you aren’t absolutely right. You can also avoid sensitive topics.

  • Say « no ». If you can’t render a service someone asks you because you have no time or no resources or you don’t want to take additional responsibilities, then explain that to your interlocutor. Your interlocutors will understand the situation and you will find an arrangement. It’s better to say « no » from the start than to force yourself to keep your commitments. With this attitude, you will avoid being overwhelmed.

4th step – turn away or adapt and accept

 

turn away

 

accept

 

  • Avoid the trigger elements of stress. Limit your contact with people who stress you. Be aware of your environment and control that. For example, use an alternative road to avoid traffic jams. Turn off TV to avoid listening to information that makes you anxious. If you did the analysis of 20% of sources that bring you 80% your stress, you know the people that you must see the minimum or eliminate them from your contacts.

  • Adjust yourself by being willing to compromise. Be assertive by adapting your requirements and avoiding perfectionism.

  • Reframe conflicts by analyzing the problem in a positive way. Look at good things and find benefits of the situation. Focus on positive elements.

  • Accept the trigger of stress and admit that you can’t control everything.

  • Looking for opportunities to improve yourself. Concentrate on what this stressful situation can teach you. Follow the principle of this quote : « What doesn’t kill you , make you stronger » and ask yourself these questions : « How can I get better with this experience ? What did I learn ? ».

  • Forgive. Accept that others make mistakes (because you also make mistakes) and try to evacuate any feeling of anger. When you free yourself from all this negative energy, it’s easy to resume your projects.

In summary « The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another » as William James said.

Subscribe to my newsletter and share this article if you think it can help someone you know. Thank you.

-Steph

3 Words To Say Everyday

do it now

I read a Nerd Fitness article  and I learned good stuff.

When I was a child, I was reserved and I was full of nonsense. I let go of thinks in my bedroom and I was doing everything at the last moment.

Few years later by doing research on internet about personal development, I found 3 words that help me to build health habits, improve my strength training, prepare meals in advance and pay my bills.

It’s very effective and simple. These 3 words are : Do it now.

Click

click

Often after using something , I left it there and there were tasks that I would leave aside to do the when I was less busy. Do you do that ?

When I came home, I played video games. I bought preprepared foods to save time in the kitchen. And of course, I had beers in my rucksack.

Looks at what was going on :

  • I went looking for a plat but all plates were dirty in the sink

  • After cleaning a plate and eating, I left the dirty plate in the sink.

  • After playing video games, I wanted to sleep but there was a bunch of clean clothes to put on my bed. Bam, I put my clothes on the side and I sleep.

  • I woke up and all my clean clothes were on the floor.

  • I went looking a plate for my breakfast and I saw a bunch of dirty plates in the sink, Bam, I shouted insults in the kitchen.

Every morning, I had a negative state of mind. I was a lazy dumb

Avoid overworking

overworking

When I was looking personal development website, I found this Art Of Manliness video . It’s Do It Now  .

When I watched it I said : « Shit, it’s me. It’s sucks ! ». When I wanted to change, I found some tips of Leo Babauta  and this motived me to :

  • Buid new healthy habits

  • Put my clean clothes in the closet instead of throwing them on furnitures

  • Clean plates immediately after eating. Now in the morning, everything is ready for my breakfast.

  • When I receive a mail, email or a message from my social media, I answer immediately instead of doing a reminder and responding later.

It’s my responsability

responsability

Do you noticed when you put something aside, you should manage it some day ? But I noticed when it happen, I must manage a lot of stuff in the same time that I had set aside.

Be indifferent to things

When we put something aside, it means that we’re indifferent. The problem is the day where we should manage it, we’re too tired.

Mental stress

Without knowing it, we accumulate mental stress by seeing things that have to be done. By exemple when I see a bunch of dirty plates in the sink. I know I need to clean them but I don’t do it.

Wait the deadline

A great exemple of a time when indifference and mental stress reach the maximum. I need to have more time to make my tax return and I have some hours left. Watch this beautiful Homer Simpson’s video , you’ll like it.

Wait, I’ll show how it went. It’s funny because my brother to the same thing now :

Clean clothes on my bed

It was always a problem before sleep, especially when I brought a girl back to my bedroom.

Train later in the day

Somedays, I was able to train in the morning but I didn’t do it. All of a sudden, it’s 23h (11pm) and I still don’t train. I trained at home because the gym closed.

Don’t write an article

Somedays, I didn’s write an article on my blog because there were a lof of cool stuff on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat ou this on Youtube . I had to write 2 articles the next day.

Do it now

do it now

By putting things aside, we find ourselves doing a lot of work because everything ends up at the same time. « Do it now » allow us to do 3 importants things :

Less work

We can work less and have the same results. Why work more and have more stress ?

It’s done

Anyway we have to do this task so let’s do it now. In this way, it’s done.

Less mental stress

Each time we make procrastination, we worry more about this task in our subsconscious. Improve our subsconscious, it’s improve our lives.

Do you know the 3 seconds techniques to talk to a girl ? it’s the same to do a task, more you wait and more doubt will make you become lazy.

Train today

If you do your training at the end of the day, do a micro train when you wake up. Do pushups and abs to be in mode « I’m in good shape ». This is will help you to stay motivated to do your training after school/work.

Cook meals for all the week

If you cook all your meals for the week, do it on Sunday. Prepare all your meals in advance to avoid to eat unhealthy during school/work. You don’t have excuses.

Emails

If you want save time with your emails, read and answer immdiately or archive.

Dirty plates

If you want clean plates everytime, clean your plates after eating.

Clean clothes

When your laudry finished, immeidately put it in your closet.

Letters

Open the letter and manage it immediately.

Do you have a funny story and the conclusion is « I can’t believe I was so lazy » ?

-Steph

P.S. Do you want free workout programs ? Click here 

Smartphone apps :

To track my calories, I use MyFitnessPal 

To track my workout program, I use Jefit