Improve Without Stress

stress

What’s up ? This is THE stephane ANDRE !!! I watched an Olivier Roland’s video  and I learned some good stuff.

I think that’s already happened to you. Do you put so much pressure on yourself to reach a goal that you fail ? And that’s very frustrating when we do personal development. When we put too much pressure on ourselves, we have negative effects. The goal of personal development is to become a better version of ourselves by being happier throughout our lives.

There is a very instructive story between Buddha and one of his disciple. This disciple asks to Buddha this question : « When I meditate, sometimes I put to much pressure on myself and it doesn’t work, I’m too stressed. And sometimes when I don’t put this pressure on myself, I’m not focus enough and I’m almost sleeping. What should I do ? ». Here is Buddha’s answer : « To practice meditation, you have to be like a zither rope. So that the rope make the right note, it must be neither too tight nor too relaxed, it must be exactly in the right range. It’s the same for meditation, you have to be neither too tense nor too relaxed to meditate in the most efficient way ».

Middle

balance

It’s funny because it’s the same principle with the guided meditation of Headspace . In several guided meditations, at a certain point, the person leading the meditation says : « From now on, you can let your mind do what it wants ». This allows you to relax yourself , to decompress to better concentrate later. But be careful, as Buddha said, if you don’t put pressure on yourself at all, you fall into the opposite extreme of laziness, lack of attention, and etc.

The answer is balance. It’s not easy to find the balance, but it’s very exciting to explore and experiment with it. Because it’s part of this trip that makes us better people.

It’s up to you experiment between : I’m too relaxed and I’m too stress. Seek the moment you progress to reach your goals and also where you enjoy life. Whenever you find the perfect tension, you’ll produce the perfect note.

Subscribe to my newsletter and share this article if you think it can help someone you know. Thank you.

-Steph

P.S. If you’re in Miami and you like Caribbean food, go to my cousin’s bistro to eat Haitian food, click here.

No Shame To Be A Beginner

shame

I watched an Olivier Roland’s video  and there is good stuff.

When I went to a gym for the first time, I lifted only light weights and I did bad movements. I felt uncomfortable because there were people much more athletic than me and it impressed me.

This situation remind me the first time I did karate when I was 6-7 years old. Whatever the activity we start, everyone expects at first that we make a lot of mistake and this is normal, it’s part of the process.

When you start something, nobody expects that you have the same performance than an Olympic champion. You fail, again, again, again and again until you learn to make it work, until you learn how to make a viable business.

Everyone expects that you company doesn’t work well at first, everyone expects that your first paragraphs you write on your blog aren’t very good.

Not good

beginner

It’s important for you to understand that we have this human tendency which is to be afraid of judgments of others : « Pffff I start it, I look really stupid while the guy beside me lifts heavier than me ! ». But you don’t know the guy beside you do it for 5 years, it’s easier for him.

It doesn’t matter that guys next to you lifts heavier because they have been training for several years alread and they know this process, they went through that too. The most are completly indifferent about what you do because they see beginners everyday. May be that certain respect you because they see that you are determined.

This was my case. During 6-9 months I talked to nobody in the gym and one time, a big guy came to talk to me that it’s been several months that he sees me train hard and he introduced me to his friends. Now, I know all bodybuilders and athletes of the gym.

You see, there isn’t shame in being bad at first.

What activity would you like to start and you still haven’t started  ? You didn’t start because you don’t want to look stupid in front of people who have more experience ?

If it’s a little bit of this, say to yourself : « I will test ». Go in this gym with all these athletic guys and notice how much everyone doesn’t care.

What activity would you like to start ?

-Steph

When you start, be at 100 %

start begin

I read a Nerd Fitness article and there is good stuff.

It was when the last time you were at 100 % to change your life ?

If you’re like me, it had to be hard. We’re afraid of being at 100 % and not succeeding. We want a plan B. We’re afraid to fail in front of our parents and friends.

Instead of being at 100 %, we will be at 50 % by this way, if we fail, we can say : « this system doesn’t work » or « I didn’t really try » or « I already knew it wasn’t going to work ».

Let’s listen to this Charles Bukowski’s poem :

It’s true, this poem doesn’t concern physical transformation but it is applicable .

We prefer to be at 50 % because if we’re at 100 % and we fail, what is left ? If we’re at 100 % and we fail, we will say to ourselves we’re failures, we aren’t good enough.

In reality, be at 100 % and fail is the best thing that could happen. When we used the maximum of our efforts and we fail, we improve our level for the next time. And especially, we don’t have regret. My mother was still talking to me about her regrets, again, 2 days ago. Regrets is poison.

Talk to people who are older than you and you will see their regret’s list is huge.

  • When we’re at 100 % and we fail, we make the first step to a true improvement.

  • When we’re at 50 % and we fail, we have regrets.

If you want improve your physique, be at 100 %. Give the maximum of your efforts, each day and see what you able to do. It’s not only for few days or weeks, it’s for all your life. You improve your body for all your life, not just to show off on the beach in summer.

Remember, if you try, be at 100 %:

« It could mean derision. It could mean mockery–isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it ».

« And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is ».

Or like say Yoda in Star Wars : « Do or do not, there is no try ».

100 %

100%

We have one life on this planet and we can’t get what we want by being at 50 % because we’re afraid of failure or rejection or worst, fear of success. It’s the to get out of your comfort zone and be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

No self-sabotage, use the maximum of your efforts to reach your goals.

In my case I focus on 2 things : my blog and building strength

-Steph

P.S. Do you want a free training program ? Click here 

Do The Inevitable

inevitable

As Agent Smith says in the movie « Matrix » : « Do you hear that Mr. Anderson ? That is the sound of inevitability ».

When a character from a movie ou comic says it, it’s impressive but it’s more than that.

Inevitability can manage our lives and become a self-fulfilling prophecy :

  • Person a

    Well, I will become fat and have blood pressure problems like my father. I will have a family and I will become like him. Not suprising that I fail everything.

  • Person b

    Well, I will break this circle. My children will be the first of the family to have healthy a healthy father. Children with parents who have healthy habits. This is what will happen.

  • Person A

    I will not succeed to lose weight like I did a lot of time. I can’t win against my genetics. Why continue ?

  • Person B

    I will be healthy. It’s a long journey and I will have difficult obstacles but it’s to me to take my success. I know that it will be long and I go forward step by step. I will go where I want to go.

If you look like Person a and A, it’s the moment to take the first steps to become like Person b and B.

Inevitability

agent smith matrix inevitability

I remember in what state I was when I read for the first time « 4 hours workweek of Tim Ferriss.

I ask to myself for several weeks if it was possible to live this. I was doing a lot of research on internet to find evidence. After all this evidence, I said to myself : « If people can do it, I can do it ». I don’t know how but I will test the indications of the book.

After creating several blogs and websites, I created my blog THEstephaneANDRE.

After few months, I watched a Gary Vaynerchuk’s video  that proposed rather than to create content, document ma days about my training and my blog. Like a reality show. This concept make me change my mindset to reach my goals. I have more success and I start to have the mindset « positive inevitability ».

Relation with yourself

relation love yourseff

Paolo Coelho said in this book « The Alchemist » : « When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it ».

You will tell me that you know this kind of story and I need a vision board, the book « The Secret » and wait that others people help me.

Ok,ok, remove the vision board and the book and ask yourself this question :

Are you the kind of person who look bad things go bad or wait that bad things go bad to say : « I told you ! ». Or you’re the kind of person who assume that things are going well and take step to make them better ?

Whatever you believe, it’s true. We know that pessimitic people always seem to have bad luck and optimistic people always seem to have good luck.

You work for the inevitability you want

We know what we want and we know we need to work hard to have it, so we do it. While other wait for luck to come to them, we create our own chance.

Winston Churchill say : « Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm ».

Each fail is an element that can slow us down to this inevitable success. Like scientists have wrong hypotheses, each fail is a chance to get closer to the goal. No reason to give up.

We expect to win. We hope to succeed. Break obstacles to prove that this possibility is correct. We have a responiblity to our inevitability.

Prove it to yourself

prove it

I just understood that « expect to win » or « feel more positive about yourself » is the half of the equation.

Wait that good luck or bad luck come to me is the same result : nothing !

As say Andy in the movie « The Shawshank Redemption » : « Hope is nothing without action ».

In the book « Unbroken », Louis Zamperini endured incredible obstacles and he never gave up hope. He always did what he could to prove that he was fighting nonstop for a good reason.

The best way to prove to yourself that your success is inevitable, it’s to do small victories :

  • You want a better health ?

    Proves to yourself that you can change by walking for 5 minutes during 30 days nonstop.

  • You want have a company ?

    Earn 1$ or help a person. Then hustle and scale.

  • You want run a marathon ?

    Run for 1 minutes. Then, find a way to run more than the day before.

Identify the version of yourself at the level 50 and go forward step by step in this direction.

Make a change and it doesn’t matter if it’s small. By adding all these changes and each small victories, this future become more and more concrete.

Expect the inevitable

It doesn’t matter if you try to lose weight, run a marathon or gain muscle, stop to wait things go bad and start to expect things go good.

You know what you need to do and everydays you do a little step to be closer to your goal.

You deserve it, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be healthy.

Each day is a chance to be closer to your success or a chance to simply delay your success.

Did you have to prove a win to yourself before you started to believe ?

-Steph

P.S. Do you want a free training program ? Click here 

Beyond Perfectionism

perfectionism

I watched an Olivier Roland’s video  and there is good stuff.

Perfectionism

perfectionism

It’s the fact of spending an infinite time on details to be sure that everything is perfect. It can be an advantage but often it’s a huge disavantage. Because we spend months, years to create something perfect in his/her room and when we launch it, we realize that everybody don’t care.

Case study

case study

It’s a student of the BloggerPro training who is a marketing internet’s teacher in a prestigious business school. He has refistered for this training but he thought he doesn’t need to do everything in this training because he’s a marketing internet teacher. He just took things who interest him. Result, he spent 2 years to write a painting book to make masterpiece and when his book launched, nobody buy it.

Then, he did again the training using all anti-perfectionism techniques. Result, he made a first product he sold 25 000 euros in one week. It was a training about the color mixture in paint.

Intelligent procrastination

intelligent procrastination

Yes, perfectionism can be also a procratination’s type, an intelligent procrastination. In contrary of stupid procrastination, it’s procrastinating while feeling well. When we procrastinate stupidly, we don’t do something that we promised to do saying we will do it tomorrow. And we will feel guilty.

Intelligent procrastination, we’re choking under a lot of work. We can believe that we make progress but we just avoid something that scares us.

There is a lot of authors, entrepreneurs, globe-trotter, people who have great ambitions fall into it because they’re afraid to confront reality. They’re afraid to fail or they’re afraid to have success. It’s unconscious, they want it to be perfect. They will remain within a theoretical framework. They will be the best in the his/her room. « Lean Startup » method  help to have success.

 

Lean Startup

lean startup

The method is to set up as soon as possible in the field a prototype, a minimum viable product. It’s a method anti-perfectionism. We will focus on the 20 % of features/actions that will bring the 80 % of the result, 80 % of what people want.

And we will bring these 20 % as soon as possible in the field to be confront with reality to see if it’s good or if it’s need to have adjustements.

If you’re writing a book, try to confront you with reality as soon as possible. Develops a community when you begin to write the book. This community will help you to promote your book but also you can show to your community your ideas and see how your community react. See if what you write interest really people. This is can be in video or article.

Case study

case study

A blogger who have a blog called «  Personal revolution » have wrote a novel several years ago. This novel called « The woman without fear » that was in the top 100 of Kindle’s sales during several months. How he wrote this novel ? He did in form of episodes in his blog. There a lot of famous authors who wrote novels which were the basis of soap operas published in newspapers. You can do the same thing today with your blog. You can write a part of your first chapter so that you community can give you feedbacks. You community will give you ideas, suggestions. If’s a kind of co-creation to write the rest of the story. In addition, it puts you in a anti-procrastination process because you’re creating the audience that will be waiting for the next. It will boost you.

Community responsability

community responsability

Say your goal to the world and ensure that people follow you to ask about your evolution. The interest is that you will involve peope who will then broadcast what you have done when it’s completed. This blog wrote the half of his novel in his blog and with the help of his community.

You see the process ? He wrote a novel adapted to his audience because of feedbacks of his community. He knew, the day of the lauch of the book, there is already a community of people who were motivate to buy the book because they wanted to know the rest of the story.

Perfectionism is to have a product adjusted to reality in the field

Do you have a community for your product/service ?

-Steph

Upgrade Your Life

upgrade your life

I read an Nerd Fitness article  and there is good stuff.

I play video games since I can use a controller and I was always excited to know :

  • What is there in this castle ?

  • What is there behind this door ?

  • What is there in this way ?

This possibility to explore, improve skills and have harder challenges everytime gave me more desire to play. There was always a new bad guy to beat, a new place to expore ou a new weapon.

Is it possible to use video games principles to improve lifestyle ? Let’s see.

Blocked

Here an Onion’s article . « Alarming New Adult Trend – Plateauing In Your Career And Relationship – Sweeps Nation ».

With this passage :

It’s called « plateauing in your career and relationship », and it involves adult men and women hitting a wall in their professional and romantic lives and doing absolutely nothing to reinvigorate them, an activity that researchers at University of Chicago’s Department of Comparative Human Development warn may be, while popular, highly dangerous and unhealthy.

Sources confirmed that plateauing in your career and relationship is merely the latest fad to grip adults in recent years, following on the heels of popular trends such as giving up on your dream of writing a novel, having kids because it’s a box to check, and gradually feeling alienated in your own body after steady weight gain.

OK,OK, stay calm, stay calm. Me too, I thought : « But it’s my life ! ». So if we reach this plateau, ours lives are adrift and I was this guy !.

Gaming

push start mario yoshi

What video games have to be so addictive ? Video games pay my attention for 3 reasons :

  • A chance to live vicariously through a tough guy

  • A constant source of improvement and rewards

  • A chance to interact with people of minds

I like Legend of Zelda because I can see myself like Link, a little boy with a wood sword who explore a big scary world to save a princess (sometimes the princess don’t need to be saved). There is always something to find or a place to discover.

All these video games like Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy, GTA gave me a lot of entertainment but they gave me something else, something I didn’t know.

Run away

  • Run away a new school’s day because there is no challenge, this isn’t interesting and there is no progress.

  • Run away a new job’s day that wasn’t interesting and didn’t match with my skills.

  • Run away a new day of my life that wasn’t excited like the life of video games characters.

We all do it with a book, a movie or something else and it’s cool to run away and live the life of sombody else. We all want a chance to do something that doesn’t exist in the real life. it’s fun to live a life in a fantasy world to relax after a long day. This isn’t bad except if this make us forget to upgrade ours lifestyle. Have a job just to pay rent and eat, an unfulfilling relationship and don’t be excited to do an activity outside of a screen, it’s like to be plugged to the Matrix. Did you watch the movie ?

Since I realized the Matrix, I adjusted my vision about books, movies and video games. Instead to use them to run away to my life, I use them like inspiration to improve my mindset.

Be excited to be better

In gamers community, there is a section like : « Who can best this game faster ? ». Beat Super Mario Bros in less of 5 minutes ou Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time in less of 20 minutes. Those games train to beat the game as fast as possible. They’re felt in love with the concept of be better or be the best.

Now, how to do in the real life ? Identify a skill that you like to do and you like to improve. Think about this skill with which you like challenge yourself, this skill who make you feel alive and work to improve this skill.

For me, it’s bodybuilding and I have some challenge like :

  • Can I run faster ?

  • Can I be stronger ?

  • Can I be more agile ?

If it’s a fail, instead to say to myself I’m not able to do this. I say to myself this fail isn’t crucial to be successful. Learn from failure is what allows you to succeed. Exaclty like in a video game when you push restart.

Find a skill and challenge yourself to improve it.

Everydays

everydays make things happen

A quest to improve your lifestyle to infinity. Here the list of my challenges. I must do at less one per day. If I do more, it’s BOOOM :

  • Find my main quest

  • Learn the basics of strenght training

  • Try a new exercice

  • Improve my social skills

  • Master my habits

  • Save some money for an adventure (travel)

  • Learn a recipe

In the real life :

  • Do I lift more weight at the gym ?

  • Do I do one more set ?

  • Do I help anyone to improve its life ?

  • Do I save some money for my next adventure ?

  • Do I reach the job I want ?

  • Do I improve my job ?

Are you improve our lifestyle this year ?

-Steph

P.S : Do you want a free training program ? Click here.